I take a lot of paper notes. If something sparks my interest, I jot it down. I have several notebooks I reference frequently.
This week I dug through those notes for information I never fathomed actually needing.
This week my sister, my 24 year old sister, will be making funeral arrangements for her husband.
This week my nephews, ages 7, 4 and 2 will be dealing with something no child is programed for. Something no child is capable of wrapping their little minds around completely... Laying their daddy to rest.
This week I dug through my notes to find the title of a book that helps children deal with these situations. Helps them sort through thoughts they never knew existed. Helps them deal with feelings they never knew they had until something like this happens...This book helps them deal with grief.
As a nurse, I have experienced first hand how difficult it is for many to have the "death discussion." Adults conversing with adults about this topic is hard enough but having it with children is unimaginable for most.
How do you break down the grieving process to a child? Especially when your trying to grieve yourself, in your own ways?
How does an adult explain to a child that their feelings are OK? Normal? Expected?
How do you define empathy to a little one? How do you know they understand?
Who knows how to relate to a child's feelings better than a child?
The book I jotted down over a year ago is titled: When Someone Very Special Dies By Marge Heegaard.
Each page is filled with content relatable to a child age 6-12. It allows a child to sort through their feelings the best way they know how: illustrations.
When I discovered this book, I was in school learning about siblings of children in the chronic hospital setting dealing with terminal illnesses. Heegaards' book is given to children in numerous hospitals across the US to assist in the grieving process when death is imminent, as well as those unexpected outcomes. It can be used in any scenario dealing with children and grief not just sibling death.
I must have jotted this note down for a reason. I definitely wanted to share this book with others as googling "books for children and death" and various other keywords does not bring up this title or anything close to what I was looking for.
Each page has space for the child to work through their feelings and create their own book. The content is age appropriate and the grieving process is broken down to the elementary level.
This week, I can only hope that this book will give my nephews the tools needed to sort through their emotions. My hopes are high that they will be guided in the right direction with their feelings, as I'm sure my little sister is no where near the best of her abilities on her own right now.
I have provided a link to Amazon for easy purchasing if this book is something your child or any child you may know needs.
Please feel free to share your thoughts after using it yourself, I would love to know if this book was helpful or not for other children.
Death is difficult for anyone but very complicated for children. I hope you find this helpful.
